Douche Nozzle
by pyrolyn-776
Summary: I tried to delete this, but despite its immaturity, I couldn't. This was the most fun thing I've ever written on here. Despite the grammatical errors and horrible plot.
1. Douche Nozzle

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with SWAC, the actors, or anything to do with Disney, really. It's a boo-hoo session for me…24/7. –sigh-

A/N: Alright-y. So I've sort of been slipping around the grapevine telling certain peeps that I was going to write a seven-shot for SWAC. In an earlier one-shot I mentioned his 'seven layers of sexy' and it was actually the inspiration for this (like no shit, right?), so I just hope you guys enjoy this. It was…an experiment gone awry. Like always. XD.

**For Dancing on Rainbows. She put a link to Pyro's account on her profile. This was the best retaliation I could come up with. ;)**

**You're a real sweetheart. Thanks for being awesome.**

* * *

**12:34 PM, June 3rd, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas posted:_**

_Welcome to Vicious Veronica's Burn Book, otherwise known as The Online You'reSoGay Blog. Today we'd like to bring forth a topic of major importance, something we Veronicas feel you all should be in on. Now, if you visit our Burn Book often, than you know that the following article will pwn, will rock, and will send shivers down the back of the unlucky chosen target of the week. If you don't come here every week for religious reasons of the severe, you're a douche and we'd like to take a moment to welcome you with open arms. _

_Yeah fucking right. Ha. No, if you're here than you're either curious, the subject at hand, or as vicious as a Veronica. (And we all know that the latter isn't true. ;D)_

_Alright. Do yourself a favor and take a deep breath. It is not often that we tackle such a...how do we say it...**vibrant** subject. But we figured firsts are always fun. So, what exactly do we have in store for you? For the next seven days, we'll have some presents for you...seven layers...of sexy...that make up..._

_Chad Dylan Cooper. _

_Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say sexy? ;)_

_Yes, yes I did. Seven layers. Seven stupid fucking layers as to _why _girls across the nation fall for the stupid smile, the stupid hair, the stupid eyes, the stupid God-forsaken name. We're exposing it all here. Trust me boys and girls, this is one blog you **don't **want to miss. _

_Viciously,_

_The Veronicas_

**12:40 PM, June 3rd, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas posted:_**

_Layer One: The Name_

_Quick Poll: What name does Chad Dylan Cooper go by?_

_A.) Chad. _

_B.) Chad Cooper._

_C.) Chad Dylan Cooper. _

_D.) Douche Nozzle_

_If you answered A, you must have your head buried under a rock. God. What are you even _doing _here? _

_If you answered B, you must be some fancy-prancy jackass. Go pick up a book or something. You're contaminating our page. _

_If you answered C, you must be a Chad Dylan Cooper fan. :P_

_If you answered D, you're a kickass Mo-Fo. We like you. _

_Now, now. Settle down. We realize that some of you parasites (aka the ones who contaminate this god-like page with their 'u R bitchez!' and 'u suck, ho!') are in love with him. And that's quite alright. We're not saying the boy is a freaking blond dumbass or anything. We're merely pointing out the fact that he's a douchebag. _

_And we mean that from the bottom of our hearts. ^_^_

_Chad. Dylan. Cooper. This is layer number one. His name. Our last roommate, Daisy or Fiona or something stupid, moved in and put a poster of him up in the hallway. It read 'Chad Dylan Cooper'. And y'know, we're not such bitches that we would make her take it down. No big deal. _

_Until she said his name rolled off her tongue like velvet. I mean. Fuck. That was just sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. Say his name. Say it real quick. "ChadDylanCooper". There's NOTHING velvet-y about it. God. Chad Dylan Cooper. His name's not sexy. It makes us think of a stupid monkey on crack. _

_Now. Do you boys and girls agree with us? If yes, respond down here. If no, go fuck yourself. _

_^_^_

_Viciously,_

_The Veronicas_

**12:41 PM, June 3rd, 2009**

**_HugsAndFuckOff posted:_**

_XDDDD. I picked D. _

**12:43 PM, June 3rd, 2009**

**_SarcasticB-Otch posted:_**

_Haha, me too. Douche Nozzle. XD. _

**12:48 PM, June 3rd, 2009**

**_Anonymous posted:_**

_u alls r jus bithces. Cad Dulan Cooper iz awsom! BITCHEZ!!!!!1111!!_

**12:49 PM, June 3rd, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas posted:_**

:) Go fuck yourself. :)

* * *

Chad Dylan Cooper's jaw nearly disconnected itself from his head when he saw the burn book. He'd never even heard of such a ridiculous blog in his life. Never. He'd had at least a hundred pieces of fan mail and emails sent in explaining to him what the fuck had just happened, but the shock still hadn't worn off.

Instead, 'sexy' Chad Dylan Cooper simply sat and stared at the screen in front of him, wondering how such vile, vile 'Veronicas' could spread such a preposterous piece of fiction around the web like that.

"Chad?"

He jumped.

"Sorry. Um, what are you looking at?"

Chad's eyes widened when he realized that Sonny Munroe was peering over his shoulder. "Nothing!" he squeaked.

She laughed lightly and shoved him unceremoniously out of the way so she could squeeze herself into the booth. When she saw the headline though she nearly choked. Not from shock, but from laughter. "Seven layers of sexy!? A Chad Dylan Cooper story? Oh, my God. That is the funniest thing -

He snapped the screen down so fast that Sonny was pretty sure she had heard a crack.

"It's not funny," he deadpanned. "Chad Dylan Cooper does not do funny. That's all your department, Chuckles."

She rolled her eyes. "You're resorting to your jerk-y ways because someone had the guts to make fun of you? Real big of you, Chad. Real big of you."

"They said my name was stupid," he whined. "Stupid! As if there's anything funny about Chad Dylan Cooper!"

Sonny bit her lip and nodded slowly. "Uh huh."

"Sonny..."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think my name is sexy?"

That was all it took. The girl clutched her stomach as he frowned.

"Thanks, Sonny. Glad to see my name amuses you so."

"Sor - sorry. Ju - just. Sexy. And Chad Dylan Cooper used in the same sentence." She giggled and shrugged as if she had no choice to laugh. "I mean..."

He slumped back into his seat. "Chad Dylan Cooper's name isn't sexy? What's _wrong _with the world?"

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, so this first one-shot was kind of harsh, heh heh. So I added the last part with Chad and Sonny to lighten the mood. I'm not sure if I'll make the one-shots all connected to the blog or if I'll make them totally unrelated. You tell me what you want. If you want the blog to continue, then tell me. I'll probably end up using your pennames as people who reply to them, if you let me. ;)**

**Also. This one-shot was longer than I thought it'd be. Please don't expect them all to be this long! :(**


	2. Fluffy the Douche

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with SWAC, the actors, or anything to do with Disney, really. It's a boo-hoo session for me…24/7. –sigh-

A/N: Phew. Guys. Seriously. You have _got _to stop treating me awesomely! ^_^ (No, I'm kidding, lol!) I appreciate all of your reviews and I'm sorry I don't review reply as often as I really ought to. Here's your majorly HUGE reply...

_Dancing on Rainbows, LaPaige, ride2night, sonnycentral, b-Kaz, nk2000, TrinityFlower of Memories, ukranianmira, 0TwistedAngel0, have-a-cookie, howlsatthemoon, KSpazzed, Overuse of Emoticons, Goode Girl, Alyssa4Music4Life, Frog Disease, akatsuki's hikari, Sidney Sez, Loved-Invention, Riley-the-Sadist848, camirae, Cydney-Sumiye, mymakeupsmearedeyes, Pwnguin, oddball15_...**Wow, that was surprisingly easy to type. Heh. Guys - err, girls - thank you so very much. You don't know, I mean you _really _don't know how much it means to come home from a stressfull day of AP chemistry and see such...amazing feedback. I dunno. Sometimes my days are so bad that just five words keeps me afloat. So, really. You all are amazing. I don't know what I did or who likes me upstairs, but I really love you guys.**

For Loved-Invention. Because stupid fanfiction peeps forgot to send me the PM alert. :P Grr.

* * *

**1:16 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Well, well. Here we are. Boys. Girls. Children of all ages and IQ scores. You've somehow found your way back to the Vicious Burn Book we so much love to participate in. And we've got only one guess as to why you're here. Someone told you through the notorious gossip grapevine that some Chad Dylan Cooper shit was going down. And you got curious. And you ran over here the first second you got. _

_Honestly, we're amused more than anything. Who would've thought that it'd be a blonde drama-rama kid to bring us the most publicity we've ever received? If you live under a rock or are too fucking stupid to pay attention to the news, you might not know that ViciousVeronicas were featured on about seven billion news reports on TV, the world-wide-web, and on the radio. For fuck's sake, people. It's not that fucking amazing. _

_It's just a little bit of truth mixed with some hard liquor. XD._

_But now it's time to get down to business. Yesterday, we discussed (and hundreds of you replied to it!) the trite little subject of Douche Nozzle's name. We were surprised at how...passionately you all felt about him. We were also very much amused by the girlies who thought we'd feel an ounce of remorse after their, "Bitchez DIE!111!!!!" Yeah. No._

_And now it's time for the second layer. If you're brilliant and/or kickass, then you should know what's coming. But first..._

_Quick poll: If there's one thing Chad Dylan Cooper couldn't live without, what would it be?_

_A.) Sonny Munroe _

_B.) His career_

_C.) His stupid hair_

_D.) His plastic_

_If you answered A, you're hopeless. Leave. Now. _

_If you answered B, you're ridiculously _stupid_. Seriously. His CAREER? *eyeroll*_

_If you answered C, you're pretty damn spot-on. Little pretty boy couldn't go a DAY without his perfectly gelled hair. -__- '_

_If you answered D, you're also pretty damn spot-on. But that's not the subject of this layer. So we won't bother with this one. ;)_

_Back shortly with the blog,_

_The Veronicas_

**1:25 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Layer Two: The Hair_

_You've seen it in the show. You've seen it in the magazines. You've seen it in that cheesy, ridiculous 'Somewhere Only We Know' flick. You've seen it all the time. _

_Now, the hair isn't all that bad. What actually caused us to put it on the list has absolutely nothing to do with what it looks like and everything to do with how Douche Nozzle treats himself. Now, take a look at these pictures...here. Notice anything? A pattern, perhaps?_

_What you're looking at, kiddies, is the Douche constantly looking in the mirror. And this is no Falls or Somewhere Only We Know scene. This is the vain douchebag FLUFFING his hair 24/7. Weird? No. Creepy? No. _

_But it definitely makes up one of his layers of sexy. _

_And, fine, we Veronicas will admit it. _

_The hair is pretty damn sexy. ;) Hey, Douche. Care to give a gal your digits? XDDDD._

_No. I'm joking._

_Viciously,_

_The Veronicas_

**1:33 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_0TwistedAngel0 Posted:_**

_Veronicas you rock! But you have to agree, Chad is one sexy douche. ;D 3_

**1:35 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Eh. He's alright. I guess. No. He's a douche. What am I saying? :P_

**1:37 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_have-a-cookie Posted:_**

_Lol. Douche Nozzle. I still can't get over that one. XD._

**1:40 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_KSpazzed Posted:_**

_Dude. We should so attack the douche with straws. That'd be so freaking awesome! _

**1:42 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_Cydney-Sumiye Posted:_**

_...KSpazzed is on shrooms..._

**1:45 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_Oddball15 Posted:_**

_...You're all on shrooms. And CDC is a huge Douche Nozzle...XD. Oh, Veronicas. Shall I count the ways I love thee?_

**1:50 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Um, no...no, sweetie. *shifty eyes* You ought to just keep that one to yourself. _

* * *

Sonny Munroe laughed as she sat in her dressing room. "Chad the Douche Nozzle," she mumbled to herself. "I like it."

The petite girl turned around to see if anyone else was in the room with her. When she was sure they weren't, she started typing.

**1:57 PM, June 4th, 2009**

**_SunnyInCali Posted:_**

_Chad Dylan Cooper the Douche Nozzle. Random and funny. I like it. Ooh. I voted A. Chad Dylan Cooper couldn't _possibly _live without Sonny Munroe. :P_

* * *

**A/N: Who's up for Layer Three? You? You? Welll...sorry. But you'll have to wait until tomorrow. Hee. I hope you liked this one!**


	3. DoucheNozzle'sHomeSlice

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with SWAC, the actors, or anything to do with Disney, really. It's a boo-hoo session for me…24/7. –sigh-

A/N: Phew. Guys. Seriously. You have _got _to stop treating me awesomely! ^_^ (No, I'm kidding, lol!) I appreciate all of your reviews and I'm sorry I don't review reply as often as I really ought to. Here's your majorly HUGE reply...

_Pwnguin, LilytheSilly, sonnycentral, b-kaz, mymakeupsmearedeyes, KSpazzed, Overuse of Emoticons, will you say ok, Dancing on Rainbows., ride2night, Alyssa4Music4Life, howlsatthemoon, Riley-the-Sadist848, Channy14, Frog Disease, 0TwistedAngel0, LaPaige, Loved-Invention, ikffrof, akatsuki's hikari, have-a-cookie, oddball15, Why Do I Care, ukranianmira, jillmarie724, The First Ghost Boy, Cydney-Sumiye, shouldbeonbroadway, OpenHappiness, camirae, AtUFrEdDiE, faerietaleredux, and Captainimpalerrox..._**I'm sorry it took me a week to get this one up. I never intended for that. School's just been hell this week, what with studying for finals. And I had my Chem one today. -sigh- I think I failed it. But I won't drag that out. I'm just sorry. And I'm super glad I only have three days left of school. Because once it's out, I won't have to do this gay 'in-story' reply shit. I can give you guys REAL, GENUINE replies. And then I can feel better about myself. :)**

For camirae. For suburbs. For Overuse of Emoticons. For Dancing on Rainbows. For LilytheSilly. For fadinglaughter. All the girlies who wrote me wonderful stories for my sixteenth.

And for all the girlies who sent me birthday wishes: I love you dearly. I just wanted you to know that. :)

* * *

**2:14 PM, June 5th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_And so we meet again. ;) I can't say I'm not surprised. Why _wouldn't _you return? We're the Vicious Veronicas. That's enough reason right there. But, if this is your first time visiting our Burn Blog, then welcome. We're always happy to bring in new members. _

_Unless you're a douche nozzle. In which case you can just leave now, before we burn you. (Because we will, y'know. It'll hurt. You'll cry. We'll laugh. Everyone else will laugh. It'll be like your worst virtual nightmare coming true. And we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we? ;D)_

_Yesterday we had another record broken - most comments left on a single blog: 189,283. Crazy shit, right? Apparently you guys had a lot to say about little-miss-Sonny-Munroe. And as a matter of fact, we've got a little story for you guys! _

_Yesterday, a comment was left at 1:57 PM. Anonymous sources (cough, Tawni Hart, cough) tell us that said comment came from Sonny Munroe herself. Take a look..._

**_C/P From SunnyInCali:_**

_"Chad Dylan Cooper the Douche Nozzle. Random and funny. I like it. Ooh. I voted A. Chad Dylan Cooper couldn't possibly __live without Sonny Munroe. :P"_

_What does this tell us!?! Looks like Douche Nozzle and little miss "SunnyInCali" have some romantic sparks a blazing. Could it be love? Could it be real? _

_You decide!_

_Quick Poll: Douche Nozzle and SunnyInCali: Match Made In Heaven?_

_A.) Hell to the no. They'll end up as another Niley._

_B.) Hell YES! They're so ADORABLE!_

_C.) Um. Who's SunnyInCali?_

_D.) Who the fuck cares? _

_If you answered A, you're pretty sweet. We consider you to be, like, those friends we hang out with when no one else is available. ;)_

_If you answered B, we seriously suggest you click on the pretty address bar above and type in, "WeSuckHard" ;)_

_If you answered C, you're hopeless. That's about all we have to say._

_If you answered D, you're really fucking hilarious. Now we need you to stop that. We're the funny. Not you. :P_

_See you soon with the Blog,_

_ViciousVeronicas_

**2:20 PM, June 5th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Layer Three: The Charm_

_We are SO tired of walking into the mall and supermarkets and book stores and seeing Chad Dylan Douche Nozzle on every single fucking cover of the magazines. Headlines range from, "CDC woos Nick Jonas' girlfriend" to "Tawni Hart and Chad Dylan Cooper spotted shopping for X-Rated Materials!" _

_Charming, right?_

_It's disgusting, if anything. The 'hottie of the month' isn't even someone worth DROOLING over. He's got zero muscle. All he's got, ladies, is his hair, his bank account, and his stupid Falls show (and seriously, they've really got to dump that thing. It is rotting the brain cell's of America's youth as we speak). _

_And you want to know WHY girls fall for his charm? Because...he wears a facade of irresistability. He believes it, therefore we believe it. It's all a portrayal. He's a loser, a user, an abuser of love. _

_Stay far, far away from the DN. _

_You don't want his egotistical asshole-isms to rub off on you. :P_

_Viciously,_

_The Veronicas_

**2:24 PM, June 5th, 2009**

**_Overuse of Emoticons Posted:_**

_XDDDD. 'Nuff said._

**2:26 PM, June 5th, 2009**

**_Dancing on Rainbows. Posted:_**

_LOL. I bet if the Douche Nozzle disappeared for more than five seconds girls across America would drop dead from heartache. It's a sad, sad world we live in._

**2:27 PM, June 5th, 2008**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Ha. More like humorous, babe. If DN disappeared for more than five seconds we Veronicas would be singing the Hallelujah chorus over and over and over. ^_^_

**2:29 PM, June 5th, 2009**

**_ikffrox Posted:_**

_I totally voted A. ^_^ Sonny Munroe and Chad Dylan Cooper? A couple? Oh, the horror._

**2:31 PM, June 5th, 2009**

**_The First Ghost Boy Posted:_**

_Veronicas, you seriously deserve a hug and cookie for this one. ;)_

**2:33 PM, June 5th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Aww, you're so sweet! ;) *Initiates virtual group hug* _

**2:35 PM, June 5th, 2009**

**_faerietaleredux Posted:_**

_I don't know. There's something about the "Douche Nozzle" and "SunnyInCali" that just seems as if they belong together. Let's blame it on the close proximity of their sets and call it a day, shall we? ;)_

* * *

Chad turned to Sonny in mild curiosity. "Are you really _SunnyInCali_?"

The brunette turned away from the blond and turled a stray, curly lock around her fingers. "Um. No."

"You're lying," he teased.

"No, I'm not."

"Oh, really? So if I call Tawni up right now she'll vouch for you?"

Sonny turned right back towards him annoyed eyes. "Alright! I'm SunnyInCali! But it doesn't matter because we _obviously _don't belong together. At all. Ever. Never. Not at all."

Chad was silent for a moment before typing in his own comment to the blog. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Obviously."

**2: 36 PM, June 5th, 2009**

**_DoucheNozzle'sHomeSlice Posted:_**

_They belong together, is that what you think faerie? Maybe they do. But they're both too damn stupid to do a thing about it. :P Stupid Hollywoods. _

Sonny Munroe, oblivious as always, did not see Chad's comment.

* * *

**A/N: After a LOT of last-minute cramming for Finals, school is FINALLY out! Cue the music, Alice Cooper! ;) I hope you guys enjoyed it. ;)**


	4. Burning The Douche

Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with SWAC.

A/N: Okay. Sorry it's taken me forever to update this one. Heh. I've been promising and promising and promising two buddies of mine that I'd get to it, but I kept putting it off. Sorry, Jason and Kana. Anyway, here it is. I hope that the blog isn't starting to get redundant...but...heh.

Thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed/favorited/alerted. I adore you, and I hope you enjoy this.

* * *

**2:31 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_Vicious Veronicas Posted:_**

_Hello, everyone. Welcome to a new day of a new blog. We've been expecting you. (Wow, doesn't that sound just a tiny bit creepy? Jesus.) Anyway, just to get that whole 'if you're new here' (and we know you're not) crap out of the way..._

_Welcome to the Burn Blog. We are the Vicious Veronicas, and we welcome you fully. Our mission on this wonderous, wonderous blog is to bring joy and laughter to our audience. We don't make it a point to target anyone..._

_Right. Haha._

_Yesterday we treated you all with a blog about Chad Dylan Cooper's 'Charm', and today we're going to tackle a new layer. But first we'd like to bring to your attention the third annual How-Bad-Can-You-Burn contest. It's fairly simple. Leave a comment, and if we think it's kickass enough, we'll put you in the running for Best-Burn. It must pertain to the blog of the day. So, yesterday you would have posted a burn about Douche Nozzle's charm. Today you'll post about whatever we bring up. Got it? No? Then don't fucking bother, dipshit._

_Anyway, yesterday we got a pretty distinctive post. _

**_C/P From DoucheNozzle'sHomeSlice:_**

_"They belong together, is that what you think faerie? Maybe they do. But they're both too damn stupid to do a thing about it. :P Stupid Hollywoods."_

_Now...this is odd, don't you think? How does this douche bag know douche nozzle? Hmm? Or maybe...maybe this douche bag _is _douche nozzle. Hmm. I guess all we can do is speculate, poke fun, and burn. _

_We'll be back shortly with the blog. _

_- VV_

**2:40 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_Vicious Veronicas Posted:_**

_Layer Four: The Look_

_Quick Poll: Does Douche Nozzle's look just scream "GAYGAYGAY" to you?_

_A.) Kinda. At least his pants aren't as tight as those Jonas guys..._

_B.) Fuck. Yeah. He looks like a freaking douche...the douche._

_C.) Who's douche nozzle?_

_D.) Gay? Doesn't that mean happy? I guess he looks pretty happy...he's alway smiling..._

_If you answered A, we so get you. Those Jonas freaks need to stop wearing dick huggers. Like, seriously._

_If you answered B, high fives for you. We must rid the world of douches, one sad little Hollywood at a time!_

_If you answered C, you better just be pulling our leg. Otherwise, we're going to have to ask you to jump off the nearest cliff/building/bridge._

_If you answered D, you're a douche bag. Go fuck a duck. Or...something. I dunno. Just get the hell off of our page. You're contaminating the sacredness._

_Alright, kids. Here's the freaking deal. Chad Dylan Cooper, affectionately called Douche Nozzle round this part of the woods (;D), looks like a freaking piece of bubblicious bubble gum. He fluffs his hair. He wears _makeup _to his premieres (I've got sources on that one!) and he drives an _automatic_. AN AUTOMATIC. Everything that surrounds his 'look' screams "I'm a pussy, hear me meow!" _

_Sigh. _

_Has there ever been a bigger douche bag than CDC? _Has _there? We think not! We dare say that Douche Nozzle is _the _biggest douche of all freaking time. _

_And now, kiddies, we invite you to send in your burns about Chad's look. Don't be afraid to push yourself to the limit. Make it bad. Make it hurt. Make him want to crawl under a rock and die seven times. ;) _

_Make. It. Hurt. _

_You've got three more days until we pick a winner. So burn, baby burn! Winner gets a hundred bucks in cash. _

_No, really. We're not joking this year. We actually have the cash this time! ^_^_

_Viciously yours,_

_The Veronicas_

**2:43 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_Overuse of Emoticons Posted:_**

_Holy CRAP. Best. Blog. Ever.  
Burn Entry: You know that look Douche Nozzle does when he's interviewing? Well, is it just me, or do people get that same look when they really gotta go take a shit?_

**2:47 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_The First Ghost Boy Posted: _**

_Seriously Veronicas. You can do no wrong. ;)  
Burn Entry: The only difference in the Nozz's look, and my girl during her period is that my girl still looks better._

**2:48 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_0TwistedAngel0 Posted:_**

_Genius, ladies. True ownage. All it takes is one look at your blog to make me feel all fuzzy warm and happy inside. ;D_

**2:51 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_camirae Posted:_**

_Oh, Veronicas. As much as I'd love to bash DN's looks...it's proving to be difficult. And, what can I say - as long as he continues to take his shirt off in Mackenzie Falls, I am certainly not complaining. The boy is FINE. :P_

**2:54 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_Pwnguin Posted:_**

_XDDDD. Oh, my GOD. I picked A just because of the Jonas comment. God...could their pants **BE **any tighter!? I THINK NOT!_

* * *

"Aww, Chad...do you need a hug?"

Chad Dylan Cooper stared solemnly at the blog dedicated soley to him for the entire week. If these stupid Veronica chicks weren't enough to depress him, then the fact that his mad desire was standing right next to him and didn't return his feelings was. He simply shook his head. "No."

"...don't let them get to you, Chad! They're worthless pieces of scum!"

"...but you said you read their blog religiously."

"Well...yeah...so what!? That doesn't mean that their blog is full of truth! It's just _really _funny. Like, one time they were talking about Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato and how totally stupid it was that they didn't share a kiss in Camp Rock. Which is completely true!" She beamed at Chad and hoped that maybe he'd cheer up a little.

When his lips curled up she smiled. Victory for the Munroe child!

"I guess it can't be _all _bad," he grudgingly admitted.

"That's the spirit! Now, don't click on the next page because there's a really long discussion about...uh..." She scratched the back of her head. "You know what? On second thought, forget I said anything."

He frowned. "What?"

"Nothing."

"No, Sonny. What's on the page?"

The comedian put her hands up in surrender and backed out of his dressing room. "Nothing...I'll catch you later Chad..."

As soon as she was out of the way, he clicked on the next page. Then his eyes widened. And a fierce growl escaped from his throat.

"THERE ARE NINE THOUSAND SEVENTY THREE COMMENTS ON THE SIZE OF MY PENI - "

A string of curses followed suit.

But out in the hallway a particular brunette couldn't help but laugh and laugh and laugh.

After all, it was she who started that thread.

;)

* * *

**You guys really CAN enter burns for the contest. I may tweak them a tiny bit to make sure they pertain to the blog of the day, but it'll still be the same foundation. Um...yeah. Feel free to also review with comments you'd like to leave the Veronicas. I'll add them in if I really love them. :)**

**Always,**

Pyro


	5. Killing The Douche With A Cheeto Puff

Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with SWAC.

A/N: Alright-y. Burn contest will go on for this chapter and the next one. So hurry up guys! Be _cruel_. This is one of those rare occasions where you don't have to feel guilty about it. XD. Also, the formatting for this one is going to be a little different. All of the cool comments/burns for the last layer are appearing first. Weird? Maybe...but just read. ^_^

CAUTION: UNEDITED CHAPTER. (In other words, if you find a typo Jason, shut it! ^_^)

* * *

**3:47 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_Kylie Robbins Posted:_**

_Haha. Dick huggers. :P I've got to admit, Veronicas, I'm a little ashamed at how much I love this. I mean, I'll always love lil Chaddykins (^_^), but this is seriously fucking hilarious. Fucking _epic_. Love you guys. :D_

**3:49 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_sonnycentral Posted:_**

_LAWL! I love Overuse of Emoticons' burn! You're just spot-on girlie. XD. Poor Chad. This week must be hell for him!!!_

**3:52 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_0TwistedAngel0 Posted:_**

_Veronicas, you speak nothing but the truth! JB's pants are waay too tight sometimes...it's scary. I'm afraid they'll be so tight one day that they'll create an alternate universe and suck me in! _

**3:54 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_O.O That sounds naughty! XD. _

**3:57 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_OMFG-Roach Posted:_**

_Burn and be burnt back. Say mean things about CDC and you're just asking for a world of hurt. Trust me. The libel suits he's gonna mount against you aren't worth the laughs you'll get out of it._

**3:59 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_Vicious Veronicas Posted:_**

_The fact that you think he's smart enough to sue is laughable in itself. And really sweetie? You think we're scared? Aww. -pats head gently- You are **too** cute. _

_Bitch. _

* * *

_(In a scary room that no one will ever find there sat two girls affectionately refered to as Vicious Bitch Numero Uno and Veronica Two)_

_The Vicious Bitch said to Veronica, "So, what are we going to do with day six? I didn't think people would actually eat our shit up, but...they really hate the douche nozzle."_

_Veronica Two tilted her head slightly and shrugged. "We'll make some shit up, they'll laugh, and it'll just be another glorious day for us." She then returned to inspecting her nails, coating her left index finger with another shade of black. _

_The Vicious Bitch frowned. "That doesn't help, Ronnie."_

_"So? It's not like I ever type this shit up anyway. I just read the comments and laugh my ass off."_

_"...yeah...and _I _get stuck doing all the actual writing. And I deal with the big guns who want to cut our heads off for embarrassing them online."_

_"Yeah, yeah. Now, what's today's blog?"_

_"Take a look..."_

* * *

**1:42 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Let's skip the F'ing formalities, children. We all know that you know who the hell we are. We're the Vicious Bitches. You know what we do, why you're here, and what you're looking forward to. But, for the sake of all the new dumbasses who have _finally _stumbled upon our page, here you go: Welcome. We burn kids with sarcasm and dry wit. If you can't handle it, leave before we hurt your poor little feelings. Now, if you think you _can _take it, stick around. _

_Because you don't even know what kind of shit we have up our sleeves. ;)_

_Yesterday, we introduced the Burn Contest. You've got a few more days to enter before we select the most outrageous spot-on burn. Think you've got the shit we're looking for? Type away. Make sure it pertains to the blog of the day. Otherwise we'll write you off as a dumbass and put you on our wall of shame. (Click here to see today's dumbass! ^_^)_

_Yeah. So. We'll be back shortly with the blog. Until then, amuse yourself with this question. _

_Quick Poll: You're trapped for twenty-four hours in a convenient store with The Douche Nozzle. What do you do?_

_A.) I'd kill him with a cheeto puff. _

_B.) I'd uncap all of the two-liter cokes. I don't know why! XD._

_C.) I'd share a beer with The Douche. Find out what kind of drunk he is._

_D.) I'd unlock the door and go home. Uh. _Duh_. _

_If you picked A, you're totally insane! XD. But, in a weird way...we understand. Lol._

_If you picked B, you're _also _insane. But in the clinical sense..._

_If you picked C, we have to agree. We're really curious about this one, too! ^_^_

_If you picked D, you're a boring little fuck. Intelligent as hell, but boring nonetheless. :P_

_Back soon,_

_VV_

**1:45 PM, June 6th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Layer Five: The Soul Baring Lines-Stolen-From-Mackenzie-Falls Cliched Shit DN Uses to Sweet-talk Girls Like YOU_

_Okay, we really feel as if there's not much to say here. Just a lot of screaming and throwing shit around and punching walls. Because, come _on _ladies, this DN is faker than the Falls girls' boobs! He's such a smooth-talking DOUCHE. _

_If he says, "Your eyes are so beautiful, like stars dancing around the moon," then you are being USED. He wants to get into your PANTS. _

_And _why_? BECAUSE HE STOLE THE DAMN LINE FROM A DAMN SCRIPT! God. Seriously. _

_And you know what else? If you're dumb enough to fall for it, you deserve the douche. _

_Always,_

_The Veronicas_

* * *

"I can _sue _them?!" Chad nearly fell over in excitement. This was certainly news to him! He thought he simply had to sit in his chair, taking their shit. But thanks to OMFG-Roach's comment...he could just SUE them!

Sonny deadpanned, "Right. Like you're smart enough to figure out what you're suing them for."

"For...for...shut up!"

"Because really, if you think about it...The Veronicas are doing you a favor."

"_What_?"

"Oh, come on Chad. Don't be dumb." She gave him a pointed look, but then sighed when he didn't catch on. "You can eat this up. Play it up. Be all hurt and...well, you."

Chad's eyes lit up. "Hey...that's not a bad idea, Munroe."

"Mine usually aren't," she said, sticking her tongue out at him.

He laughed putting a hand on her shoulder. With his eyes closed, he nodded. "_Sure_, Munroe."

As he walked out of the door, Sonny frowned. "They _are!_"

* * *

**Holy freaking crap. Writing this chapter took a lot longer than I expected. Sigh. Burn entries anyone? I hope so! ^_^ And...if you thought the Veronicas scene was weird, just ignore it. I didn't know what to do between that gap. Oh, and to** _OMFG-Roach_**, I sincerely hope you weren't offended by ViciousVeronicas' response. I was trying to respond the way they would, but that was _not _a personal attack. Please know that. :D**


	6. The Douche Nozzle's Birth Defect

Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with SWAC.

**Phew. I've only got _one _more chapter to wrap this baby up, guys. (Because I cannot keep this blog going on forever. Sometimes, it's actually _hard _to be vicious. I know: who would've thought!?) Anyways, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to LaPaigefor the simple fact that I can. I'd also like to take a moment to thank everyone who has favorited/alerted/reviewed. You're kickass and I'm glad you like my blatant viciousness. I'd like to think I'm channeling a bit of the fucks away from Jay and 'Silent' Bob. If you don't know who they are you have officially been pwned for no other reason than lack of knowledge. Sigh.**

**CAUTION: UNEDITED CHAPTER.**

**I didn't make up the condom joke. I simply pass it along whenever an opportunity presents itself.**

**Oh and Kana? I tweaked your burn. Kiddies, I may be biased...but I personally was on the ground at the first two burns. ;)**

* * *

**1:48 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_pyrolyn-776 Posted:_**

_I'm just kind of curious about that cheeto puff. Veronicas...do you have **experience **or something? ;)  
Burn entry: "Hey Douche Nozzle, how's this for a line? Your birth certificate is merely an apology from the condom factory." ^_^_

**1:52 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_Overuse of Emoticons Posted:_**

I_ hafta say C. I wonder what Douche Nozzle would say if he was drunk. Probably one of those cheesy-ass, I-Wanna-Get-In-Your-Pants lines he always steals from his scripts, I bet. Or maybe something about little miss SunnyInCali? ;)  
Burn entry: "There's nothing more pathetic than a guy who rips lines from a show. He's obviously desperate, seeing as the only action his little soldier gets is from an X-rated video and a tube sock."_

**1:53 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_SheBeexLee Posted:_**

_Veronicas, you have amazed me once again with your superior wisdom and bitchyness. What I would give to be your apprentice.  
Burn entry: "You know, Douche Nozzle, I wouldn't even want you in my pants. You've probably contracted one too many STDs from those Falls' girls and their plastic boobs. You may be a cutie, but I'm just too much woman for you. ;D"_

**1:55 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_Kylie Robbins Posted:_**

_Burn entry: "Well, maybe the douche nozzle wouldn't have to recycle lines from old Falls episodes if he aimed for a higher caliber of boo-tay. The dick wad seems to go after the dumbest possible herd of silicon filled, bleach blonde, porn star wannabes. If instead of thinking with his dick, and started thinking with his heart, or hell, even his brain, then the spewing of that tired bullshit would be completely bunk."_

**1:57 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_LilyTheSilly Posted:_**

_Burn entry: "Okay, Chad Dylan Cooper may be cute, but he's such a moron. He needs to start thinking of his own comebacks instead of quoting Mackenzie Falls, but I don't think he actually has the brain capacity to do that. :P"_

**1:59 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_0TwistedAngel0 Posted:_**

_I picked C. The DN drunk is something I'd totally have to witness, tape, and then send all over the interweb. :) Love you girls, Keep the blogs coming!_

**2:03 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_LIAR Posted:_**

_I'd pick e. Kill him with a cheeto while he's wasted. If anyone ever fell for that trash that spewed out of his mouth, then they are dumber than DN thinking he's EVER been sexy while looking in a mirror. If DN ever attempted be romantic, then the poor girl (or guy ;D) would end up somewhere in the middle of a rainforest enwrapped in a giant spider's web about to be eaten while DN checks himself out in a mirror. SERIOUSLY. I'm surprised he hasn't asked himself out yet._

**2:05 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_ride2night Posted:_**

_Vicious Veronicas, why does thou have to be so cruel-eth? Douche Nozzles (no matter how small their brain and lack of balls) have feelings too ya know ;P_

**2:08 PM, June 7th, 2009**

**_LaPaige Posted:_**

_Burn entry: You do realise that everything that comes out of CDC's mouth on that show, he can't understand? Apparently even The Falls easy-to-read-hard-to-believe crap is hard for him to take in. What does that say about his brain capacity, hm?_

* * *

Chad Dylan Cooper stepped out of his bedroom and went straight for the desktop that sat in his living room. He was eager to see what the hell these 'vicious veronica' bitches had to say about him today. Tomorrow, he realized, would be the last day he'd have to suffer this humiliation.

What he really wanted though...was some revenge. Logging into his account, he immediately noticed that the Veronicas were online, but they hadn't put the blog up yet. He clicked on the 'Private Message' button and started writing.

_Vicious Bitches, _

_Eat shit and die. _

_Sincerely,_

_Chad Not-The-Douche-Nozzle Cooper_

After clicking 'send' Chad leaned back in his chair and sighed contentedly. He was certain that little comment of his was going to gain _some _kind of attention. And this time, he was fighting fire with fire.

At least in his own mind, that is.

* * *

**2:34 PM, June 8th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Oh, fuck no. _

_Oh. Right. Hi. Welcome to the burn blog. You know who we are, blah-fucking-blah. You wouldn't be here if you didn't know what was going on, so we're skipping the intro today. Because we have an issue of major importance. You see, we're bashers. We love it, we live for it, and we think it's fucking hilarious when people get all worked up over it. _

_Exhibit A!_

**_C/P From Inbox (Sender: Chad.)_**

_Vicious Bitches, _

_Eat shit and die._

_Sincerely,_

_Chad Not-The-Douche-Nozzle Cooper_

_Oh-ho-ho. So, Douche Nozzle, you not man enough to post for the world to see? You had to 'Privately' message us? See, ladies and gents!? Chad Cooper truly is a douche nozzle. We'll tell you what. How about _you _go crawl back into the hole you were found in as a child and have yourself a good cry. We'll even send you a box of Kleenex. Free of charge. Well, you're going to have to pay for the postal charge. We're not loaded, you know._

_Anyways, we just thought this was amusing and that we'd share it with the rest of you fuck-tards. ^_^ Back with the blog soon!_

_We hope you're prepared, because this one is going to be **special**. No pun intended. Really._

_Now, if you want to amuse yourself real quick, here's a quick poll: You and Douche Nozzle are the last two people on earth. What do you do?_

_A.) Re-populate the world. ;)_

_B.) Kill him off and kiss the human race goodbye._

_C.) Shoot myself in the head. Douche Nozzle would be too stupid to put me out of my misery._

_D.) Last two people on Earth...that's pretty absurd. I mean, the chances of that happening are, like, one in a - _

_If you picked A, you must be _really _horny right now. _

_If you picked B, well...it'd be a lonely life to live...but we get it. ;)_

_If you picked C, suicide is not the answer! Ever! :P We may be Vicious, but we don't condone stupidity. XD. _

_If you picked D, just...God. You're not even worth the explanation. _

_Always,_

_VV_

**2:39 PM, June 8th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Layer Six: The Birth Defect_

_We were going to have some fun with the real layer six, but after getting that private message from DN earlier, we decided to have a little fun. Apparently, DN suffers from a little disorder we like to call DOUCHE syndrome. _

_Douchebag Of Unbelivably Crappy Heritage - EpicDoucheNozzles_

_Personally, we think you (yes, you Douche Nozzle) should just get that tattooed across your forehead. Simply have it read: "I suffer from DOUCHE". Then, no one will blame you for your supreme douche-ness. They'll blame it on your parents. After all, _parents _are the reasons kids suck at passing first grade and all. We should be blaming the _parents _for their kids failures. Yup. _

_Aww, it's okay Douche Nozzle. You may be pathetic and all, but just point your fingers at dear old mommy and daddy. It's worked fairly well for the rest of the world. ;)_

_Eat shit and die,_

_The Veronicas_

* * *

Sonny Munroe shook her head slowly. "And what have we learned from all of his?"

"It is a bad idea to take on The Veronicas," Chad mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.

"Yes, and why is that?"

"Because," he pointed to the computer screen, "they can do terrible, terrible things to get back at me."

Sonny patted his head gently. "Oh, my poor little Douche Nozzle."

* * *

**Not only have I written these chapters within the span of four, five hours, but I also posted both of them. I'm crazy, I admit it. But I hope this one was enjoyable. I tried to make it...not suck. Heh. Personally, I'm in love with the burns you guys sent in. But, seeing as how there is only _one _chapter left, I'd love for you guys to vote on your top two - three now. Or, create a mind-boggingly awesome one now. The winners will be mentioned in the next blog. ;) Haha. **

**Thanks for reading! ^_^**


	7. Douche Nozzle's Relief

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with SWAC.

**So, this is going to be the last installment of Douche Nozzle. It's been a great run and I truly think that this was one of my better multi-chaps, because I wasn't especially disappointed in many of these updates. I'm also very glad that you guys liked 'em, and I hope that this one is up to par with your standards. ;) But first, there are two people I owe a thank you to. **Camirae **and **AHigherOctave**, I opened my email one day and saw that both of you left me a rather large influx of reviews. Because I am a complete Douche Nozzle, I'm giving you my humble thanks here: Thank you so much. **

**For everyone else, thank you for your humorous burns, your wise-crackin' jokes. Everything. And now, without further ado, here we go...**

* * *

**3:28 PM, June 9th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Hello, boys and girls. Our name is Veronica and today we'd like to welcome you with a picture of Chad Dylan Cooper naked. You will only find it here children, and it might be only a few hours before we're forced to take it down by higher ups, so you better click fast! ;D (Oh, come on girls. You know you want to see how many inches his 'little soldier' is.)_

_For the past six days we've poked, jabbed, and viciously stabbed the world's favorite Douche Nozzle. It's been nothing personal. He's just a large source of our amusement, and as bored little teens with nothing but time, we figured we'd let you all in on our self-made personal joke. _

_We've just got to ask you guys one tiny poll question. _

_Quick Poll: What _in the hell _does douche nozzle even mean? _

_A.) I have no fucking idea. _

_B.) I don't know, but it's funny to say. ;)_

_C.) Douche Nozzle - a little fucker fun to fucking make fucking jabs at!_

_D.) Uh._

_If you answered A, all we really have to say to you is, "Yeah. I know." XD._

_If you answered B, we agree. It is funny to say! _

_If you answered C, you gotta stop watching Jay and Silent Bob videos. :P_

_If you answered D, we're officially voting you off the island. Pick a different letter. :P_

_We'll let you think about it while we work on that blog. ;)_

_Happy Burn-Day!_

-_VV_

**3:40 PM, June 9th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted: _**

_Now, before we introduce today's layer, before we bring Douche Nozzle's shit-fest full circle, there's something we've got to mention first. For the past few days, we've asked you guys to send in your best burns. Some of them had us crawling on the floor, cursing you for making our stomachs hurt. Others made us simply deadpan, "What the fuck?" _

_We don't see the need to be all mysterious about our winner. Overuse of Emoticons clearly outshined all of you little Burners. ;) Our personal favorite was her: "You know that look Douche Nozzle does when he's interviewing? Well, is it just me, or do people get that same look when they really gotta go take a shit?" Seriously, girl. We were in tears; it was that funny. _

_We also loved Kylie Robbins', SheBeexLee's, LilyTheSilly's, and LaPaige's burns. They were fucking brilliant. And of course, pyrolyn-776. You stole our heart with the condom joke. And Camirae! Douche Nozzle like a slinky? XD. Nice comparison, sweets. _

_Ah, so our congratulations goes out to Emoticons. You're one feisty child, yes. You're almost good enough to be a Veronica. ;) _

_And now we'd like to pull out layer seven. Douche Nozzle's final layer of sexy. It is the last one and we know many of you have been anticipating this. But._

_(OH SHIT! DID SHE JUST SAY BUT!? WHAT THE FUCK!?)_

_Shut up and read. _

_But. You see, we've decided to grant mercy on DN's poor unfortunate soul. And thus. We present to you, layer seven: The genuine, sincere, romantic things he does_

_He may look like a douche, talk like a douche, interview like a douche, 'act' like a douche...but Chad Dylan Cooper is only six parts Douche Nozzle. And one part total sweetheart. Beneath all those layers, a sweet guy resides. He brings flowers to the ladies, he holds doors open, and he _cares_. _

_Ah. I know there must be millions of you with your jaws dislocated right about now, seeing as how we're supposed to be 'vicious' and all. The truth is that we have met Douche Nozzle. And he's not all bad. _

_Grudgingly, we must admit that he is pretty cute. _

_In a Douche Nozzle kind of way. ;)_

_Sigh. And so now the week of Douche Nozzle has ended. These seven days (and layers) shall remain timeless in our minds as we've shared laughs and tears of mirth over and over and over. _

_Oh, and to the Douche: We really hope you didn't jump off that cliff we talked about. Sonny would be pretty heartbroken. :PPPPP!_

_Hugs and 'special' brownies, _

_Double V _

**3:48 PM, June 9th, 2009**

**_pyrolyn-776 Posted:_**

_Okay...weird...you guys kind of complimented Douche Nozzle there. Well, alright. He is pretty hot. XD._

**3:51 PM, June 9th, 2009**

**_Overuse of Emoticons Posted:_**

_YEAH! I WON, I WON, I WON! MUAH HA HA! TAKE **THAT, **PYROLYN! :PPP YOUR CONDOM JOKE GOT NOTHING ON ME! XD. _

**3:54 PM, June 9th, 2009**

**_Camirae Posted:_**

_See, Chad? The Veronicas don't totally hate you. ;)_

**3:56 PM, June 9th, 2009**

**_SunnyInCali Posted:_**

_Thanks, guys. Chad really needed that. :) *hugs* _

**4:00 PM, June 9th, 2009**

**_ViciousVeronicas Posted:_**

_Yeah, yeah. Whatever. :P _

* * *

"You. Are. Related. To. A. Vicious. Veronica?"

Sonny smiled sheepishly. "Maybe?"

"Maybe?"

"Okay, yeah. Ronnie's sixteen and - "

Chad's face crumpled at her confession. "You mean to tell me that a _sixteen _year-old mocked me from hell and back, made a national mockery out of me, and you're her sister."

"Kinda."

"That's fuck-tastic," he mumbled under his breath, crossing his arms.

She laughed at him, gathering him into a hug. Rubbing his back tenderly, she pulled away when her phone began to ring. "Hey, Ronnie. What's up?" Chad glared at the phone for a while before Sonny presented the phone to him. "She wants to talk to you."

He sighed before taking the phone. "What do you want, she-devil?"

Cheerfully she returned, "Aww, don't be like that! You're my _favorite _Douche Nozzle, after all."

He could feel her smiling on the other end of the line and frowned. What could she possibly have to say to him? He asked her again what she wanted and when she told him his eyebrows went way up, causing Sonny's to do the same thing. She mouthed to him, _what did she say!? _But he simply shook his head.

After hanging up the phone and returning it to her, Chad stared at her, confused. "Hey, Sonny?"

"Yeah?"

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his chest. He breathed in her vanilla scent and encircled her waist with his arms. "Veronica wanted me to do something."

"What?" she whispered, not sure why he was being so...sweet.

"This." He kissed the corners of her lips and she stiffened in his embrace.

"Why'd you do that?" she asked him quietly.

"Because I wanted to, and because your sister opened up my eyes a little."

Sonny's eyes narrowed. "That rat. She told you."

He shrugged sheepishly, smiling. "Maybe she's not as bad as I thought."

Sonny laughed with a twinkle in her eye. "Maybe I should get her to show you the _real _layer seven!"

"...what?"

* * *

**It took me a while to figure out how I was going to write this one, but I hoped you enjoyed it. A lot of you wanted to know how Sonny/Chad were going to hook up and there it is. There's not much masterful descriptions here since this is a humorous piece and all, but I hoped this last chapter made sense for you and that you still laughed at what I've written. Thanks for going on this rollercoaster with me. ;) It was a blast. **


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